He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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