Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
