Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
