After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
