What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
