I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
White coat. Heels.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
