no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
