How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
