Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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