my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
