Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
