My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
