You're my little dorito
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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