Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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