It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
