strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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