Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
