when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
