dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
