sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
