I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
