like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
