I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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