I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my poor anus
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
