Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
