if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have so many feelings about this burrito
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
