so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
