And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
