I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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