Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
