In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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