Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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