You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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