Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
