a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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