lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize