So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
