Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
