She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize