I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
