he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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