Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
