found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
