What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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