please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
