its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
