Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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