i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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