College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
