I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
