i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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